I spent a relatively long time in that darkness.  I stumbled around blindly for a while, searching for the light..... 
searching for a way out...and then as my courage grew, or rather, as I became aware that I already had the courage... I began to look around. 
Hesitantly at first, a glimpse over here, a very short glance over there..... scary stuff, looking into the shadows of yourself. 
But then, a bit at a time, as much as I was willing to allow... those dark and shadowy "hiding places" began to become visible.  Fear, yes... fear was there...
cowering in that corner, right over there....alone...in the dark.   Victimhood... smile... oh yes, it was there as well, lumbering along,
shoulders bent from the terrible weight they carried.... its pity-full, suffering self wanting nothing more than to prove it's right to it's own wretchedness. 
Anger was there as well, not just anger, but rage, white hot in its intensity....
alone, like all the others there in the shadows, anguishing over its right to even exist at all!
And guilt was there as well, angry and vengeful guilt, locked in its endless battle with rage for it's right to NOT exist! 

Why would I want to see these sad and desolate aspects of myself?  The answer to that question is very simple.
  Their focus was intense! Their desire was immeasurable! 
Try as I might to focus on the success that I so desired, they were the resistance that separated me from what I wanted to create!
  The intensity of their focus, their desire, their imagination...their EXPECTATION.... was far greater than anything I could hold for any length of time.
They were the ones "in charge" of my reality!  Going into that darkness, finding them there, exactly where I always "secretly" knew they would be,
and adding a bit of illumination, brought them out of their hiding places and into the light. 
Once I acknowledged them and made them fully visible, I could give them what they so desperately needed! 
VALIDATION! 
I could say YES!!!  You DO have a right to your anger... to the very rage that burns so hot inside yourself!  It is YOURS!
Yes, you have suffered, and now it is time to finish with that suffering!  It is time to release it... let it go!

But how do we do that?  How do we HONESTLY do that? 

The secret is that it is impossible to release something that you do not first GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION to own as your own! 

The validation has to come from within ourselves! 

It was this very need for validation that kept my anger alive!   We hear so much today about "keeping a positive outlook...not being angry..." 
If we happen to bring something unpleasant up we are told.."Oh, you really need to get past that..."  And truthfully... those are VERY valid points of view, 
but, too much of the time we "get past that" by stuffing it... afraid to FEEL that anger or FEEL that pain, or even worse EXPRESS it...
we stuff it, by pretending that it's either not really important or even worse...that it doesn't really exist.
As children, many of us were taught from an early age, that we better not be angry... and we certainly better not show it if we are angry!
Parents DO need to have some way of dealing with unruly children but as adults, we must uncover those old hidden beliefs that were instilled in us so long ago
and replace them with the knowledge that we DO have a right to our own emotions.. WHATEVER they might happen to be!
They are ours!  Only then can they be HONESTLY expressed and HONESTLY released!
And they truly must be released... yell and scream... stomp your feet... scream it into a pillow if you can't do it out in the open but somehow or another,
find a place to do it and DO IT!  And keep on doing it until it is OUT!
And it IS possible to release this stuff without causing harm to anyone!  If that is a concern then know your INTENT!
It is not about vengence or retaliation, but rather it is about releasing this energy that is restricting the very aire we breath!
It is causing a LOT more harm to us and everyone around us than we could possibly do by expressing it in a responsible manner and then finally...
at LONG last... releasing it and letting it go, allowing those aspects of ourselves
that are so very ready and willing to give up these "burdens" that they have been carrying for US for so very long, to be at peace!

Then, from that place of freedom from the past... focusing on what we truly desire NOW, becomes as natural as breathing the air. 
 We ALWAYS get what we MOST "desire"!   That is NOT always what we ask for! 

Sometimes it takes going into the shadows... into the dark... to find those "hidden" desires that are, in truth,
 more intensely focused than what we are asking for.   Seek them out...find them, acknowledge that they are ours... 
and then give them the validation that they are so desperately seeking so that they can finally be at peace!
 Release them to our Higher Self, to God, Goddess, All That Is....to whatever Divine Power we each hold dear...
And then stepping out into the pure joy of knowing that we really are the "ones in charge of illumination"! 
Being Real!   Knowing ourselves....INTIMATELY! 

It is not so much about "finding" the light, or looking for a way out of the darkness, 
as it is about realizing that YOU are the one in charge of illumination! 
You are the "Bringer of Light".....the "Keeper of Knowledge"! 

You are deeply loved by your Higher Self, by God Goddess All That Is and by the Goddess Herself!
 You will never be "alone" again!
You were  never alone to begin with! 

Blessed Be! 
Sharon Maille-Rettich